Building A Lifestyle – Part I
Do you have a lifestyle that makes you happy with who you are? Does your lifestyle show the best sides of yourself to women you meet? A quality lifestyle will attract and keep quality girls in your life. It’s not just about memorising the right lines and wearing the right clothes – your way of life must be attractive to draw and retain a woman’s attention:
What is an attractive lifestyle?
Building an attractive lifestyle is crucial; but almost everyone gets the wrong idea of what that means.
When I first heard this, I interpreted it the same way most people do: it meant a jet set lifestyle, hobnobbing with celebrities and getting to jump the queue at the hottest clubs. That’s nice, but it’s not the definition of what we’re talking about here (It may be a symptom of it though, an attractive lifestyle draws these good things.)
An attractive lifestyle is different for everyone. Your attractive lifestyle will be different to mine, and anyone else. It’s about living an authentic life; living on your own terms, and being happy with who you are.
This is inherently attractive. Consider how famous mystics or gurus can draw followers and wield massive influence, even if they don’t live the conventional jet set lifestyle (well, the real ones don’t anyway.) The secret sauce is the passion and fulfilment they radiate; just being around them makes others feel good.
If you can attain the same qualities, in a manner specific to who you are, you will develop the same kind of draw.
So, how do you build an attractive lifestyle?
There are two main halves that form an attractive lifestyle (both can be subdivided further.) These are the inner aspects, and the outer aspects.
There is the inner aspect; comprised of your values, attitudes, beliefs, etc. Then there are the outer aspects, the parts people can see; your hobbies and interests, your career, how you present yourself.
The inner aspects comprise of:
• Pride in who you are
• Knowing who you are, what your values are, and being congruent with them
Lifestyle – The Inner Aspects
1. Pride in who you are
Do you like yourself as a person?
Everything goes uphill or downhill depending on how you answer that. If you are not proud of who you are, it will reflect in your appearance, your health, and how much enthusiasm you have when doing things (trust me, your boss notices.)
When you don’t care for you are, your behaviour takes a turn for the negative. Have you ever seen someone who is ashamed of their job? Most can’t even pretend to put effort into their work.
Outside of work, it builds bad habits like procrastination (I’m too tired to start improving myself right now), not bothering to dress well, and definitely not bothering to approach women.
Some who is proud of who they are does the exact opposite. They act with total conviction (at the office, everything they do has to be a work of art), they are always at the top of their game, and they will approach anyone with confidence; not just women.
So the first step is to take pride in who you are – and if you can’t, to change things so that you can. Your body language and behaviour are will project your sense of self-worth…or your lack of it.
People without passion are boring.
They are mediocre, and no one cares about mediocre. No one will ever be inspired by Joe Average who lives across the street, who spends his days drinking beer and staying deliberately unemployed.
People with passion, however, stand out. They can’t help it – not least because when you’re committed to something, you can’t help but become more expressive; you will talk about it.
Passion also has a way of removing many forms of self-doubt; it has a way of ploughing through fear, self-doubt, and various other self-imposed limitations. It gives you abundant energy to make an effort, and it fires up people around you. Women are drawn to passion, and will look past many disadvantages like lack of wealth or great looks if you have it.
Are you passionate about what you’re doing in life right now?
Steve Jobs said he’d look in the mirror every morning and ask: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been ‘no’ for too many days in a row, I know something needs to change”.
Ask yourself this question and answer with honesty. It will be obvious to you whether there’s any real passion inside.
The key to passion is to be unafraid to take risks, and go for what you want in life. The most common reason for avoiding this is safety – I used to play it safe all the time, and was far from living my life with passion.
I began to realise on my self-development journey and mentors I had, that I was not living to my full potential. My life was not in line with my passions. I took huge efforts to change this and work towards what I was passionate about. Now I’m teaching guys how to improve their lives, and working on business so I can lead the life I have set out for myself.
Over the next few weeks, figure out what it is you’re really passionate about. I say weeks because you really take the time to think it through.
Whatever you decide, write them down and live your life in accordance with them. When you live in alignment with your passions, your life will change dramatically – and you will be attractive to women.
3. Knowing who you are, what your values are, and being congruent with them
Many people don’t take the time to figure out what their values are, or don’t live by them. Because of that, they can’t communicate who they are to women, and the perception of their value falls.
I recommend that you sit down and write down your values. Write down the causes and beliefs that you stand for. Dig deep here and really think about what means the most to you.
If you were to keel over dead tomorrow (touch wood), what would you want to be remembered for?
Are you a family man, highly driven, ambitious, acting in spite of fear or risk?
Whatever it is, write out your values, and commit to living your life by them.
Developing the inner aspects of your lifestyle is about knowing yourself on a deep level. This is the first step to living in accordance with it (you can’t begin living out a set of values if you don’t even know what they are first.)
You change on a deep level too, when you really figure out who you are, and what values you want to live your life by. These values and qualities will begin to show in your body language, and the way you carry yourself.
It’s a highly attractive way of being and will make you that much more attractive to women that you meet in your life.