Meeting Women In The Daytime (part 1)
Why it’s better to meet women outside the nightclub
When most people think of meeting women, they think of nightclubs and bars. That’s restrictive. The truth is, you can meet women anywhere – at the mall, the bus stop, dance class… In fact it’s advantageous to approach women outside the usual venues. Here’s why:
1. You’ll develop a better sense of confidence
A lot of guys are bolder in clubs and bars. It’s just easier, because they know everyone is there to meet people (or in some cases, because they can get a few drinks in first.)
Outside of a club, few people have the guts to approach a beautiful woman and start a conversation. It takes a lot more courage, and most women will recognize that. When you can approach women in a smooth, comfortable manner at a grocery store, bookstore, the street, etc. it makes you appear spontaneous and natural.
Approaching women like this also builds confidence: this is about as hard as it gets. Once you can get over the anxiety of approaching women in the daytime, nothing else is as difficult. The more you approach the more success you’ll have; and that success will feed your confidence. It’s a self-reinforcing cycle.
2. Most women are looking for their dream guy in the day time
To quote the movie Hitch: “No woman wakes up saying, ‘God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today!”’
Women want to meet guys, and they want to meet them in that romantic, fateful way we see in movies. They call them “meet cutes” in movie parlance – that moment when the two main characters lock eyes across the hallway.
They’re looking to meet that attractive and confident guy, who has what it takes to approach her there and then and carry on an amazing conversation.
That’s a different expectation from a nightclub or bar (in those situations women are expecting to be hit on, there’s no “chance encounter” feel that makes the meeting magical to them.)
With the right methods, you can be that amazing guy they ran into on the street or the coffee shop, and who they can’t stop thinking about.
3. You’ll meet a wider range of women, and the type that you want
In the daytime, you will find yourself meeting a wider range of women than you’d find in clubs or bars.
First, it’s a simple fact that not every woman goes to those places. Some of the most gorgeous women I’ve met just don’t like clubbing.
Second, there are some many different places to meet women during the day, so you’ll come across women with a wider range of backgrounds, lifestyles, and personalities.
Like girls who are health conscious? Like practical, career oriented women? How about artsy types who read James Joyce in quiet cafes? Building your day game lets you meet the kind of woman you want, not just the ones who happen to wander onto a dance floor.
4. You can practice pick up in a way that accommodates your lifestyle
Sometimes, it’s just an issue of practicality. A lot of clients I teach at workshops just can’t hang around bars and clubs. Work, alcohol concerns, or financial constraints can make it impossible.
If they tell me about it I can often recommend alternatives and workarounds; you can find out more about my workshops by contacting me here
But the best alternative, if you can’t club, is to work on approaching women at any point in your daily life. Your opportunities are endless. Women are everywhere. They’re on the streets, in the malls, getting coffee, in the supermarket, the parks, etc. You don’t need to dance till and holler till two in the morning to meet someone great.
Yeah, that’s easier said than done Vox
It is, which is why in the next article of this series, I’ll go into more detail on how to do it. In the meantime, you can work on developing the right mindset.
Approaching women in the daytime isn’t just about what you say and do, it’s about how you think. Here’s some basics to get you started – once you have the hang of it move on to the next article.
1. Know that you don’t need the environment of the club for your approach to work
The same possibilities available to you in bars and clubs are available to you in the daytime. A lot of guys don’t realize this, so they never approach a woman on the street.
But there is nothing stopping you striking up a conversation with an attractive woman you see during the day, and having that lead into a great relationship of whatever type you want.
Women want to meet guys during the day (see point 2), so recognize that advantage. Get out there and talk to them.
2. Challenge Your Assumptions
It’s natural to feel anxious when approaching a woman. The best way to keep it under control is to recognize how anxiety works: it creates groundless (but convincing) assumptions in your head.
Guys will create a variety of assumptions when they see an attractive woman. You may have a habit of doing this yourself. Some common ones are:
“She looks busy”
“I’m too busy right now”
“She doesn’t look like she wants to talk to anyone”
“She looks like she’s in a rush”
Anxiety will create hundreds of “reasons” why you shouldn’t approach, within a matter of seconds. Try to remember that most of these are just in your head.
Instead of accepting such assumptions, challenge them by approaching and finding out. Perhaps she is busy, or perhaps she’ll be over the moon that you approached her. Maybe her own anxiety was stopping her from talking to you.
There’s only one way to find out, and that’s to approach her and find out what the real story is.
3. Get in the habit of going for what you want
Approaching women during the day builds, and takes, a lot of confidence. Getting used to it is just another way of becoming the kind of guy who will go for what you want (and that’s useful for more than just pick up.)
I recommend guys start by approaching the first attractive girl who catches their eye every day. This forms a habit of approaching – after a while it will be automatic, and the anxiety will be easier to control. It’s like a plane on a runway: the take-off is the part that requires the most energy. Once it’s airborne, a lot of the strain is off the engines.
The first few approaches will be hard; but it will get easier. With enough practice, picking up women anywhere will become effortless. I promise you it’s a great place to be, and it’s a liberating experience.
To find out more about developing the confidence and tools to approach women, check out the Love Systems website and sign up to our mailing list.